Coming Up Roses

There's a little saying that "Everything is coming up Roses!" Well. Every rose has it's thorn! 

Taking a look at this sweet sleeping baby and one would think everything is peachy! Truth is, we've had a rough patch of road to travel lately. 

Brian got sick the first few days after Calvin was born and wasn't even able to be around or hold him for the first 10 days. Then, of course, the kids were all sick too. So Calvin was quarantined in his room for the first bit of life. In fact, until just recently, the other kids hadn't seen much of him at all. Once he started getting integrated in with the family though, they have loved him and beg to hold him. Eli is a sweetie with him and gives him kisses and says "soft" while stroking Calvin's head (who he calls "Calvy").

But in all my "quarantining" and disinfecting and sterilizing to keep him healthy, I couldn't prevent him from getting acid reflux- or is it colic? We still don't know exactly what is wrong, other than he is very fussy and uncomfortable, and spits up most his meals. We spend hours with him at night trying to just soothe him, but there is seemingly nothing we can do to stop him from crying, wailing actually. It has been so hard for me to not be able to help him. I love him more than anything and just want to soothe him, and can't! I can't help but feel sometimes, what's wrong with me...what's wrong with him? 

We've hit some pretty frustrating moments. We've given him a blessing and have poured our hearts out in prayer over him. I beg for heaven's help each night. This morning I was just crying in my bathroom as I was getting ready for the day and finally begged God to send ME an angel to help me out and lift my burden. And guess who walks in my bathroom at that very moment? Eli...my most tender hearted child! It's as if he knew I needed a hug. He is such a sweetie. So tender and compassionate. I knew he was my angel at that moment! He just hugged me and pointed to my tears...and I got it pulled together and faced the day! I'm sure he doesn't know how much he helped. 

I know we'll get though this time, it just takes time and he'll grow out of it. We've had a lot of family help and support which has been so appreciated! I really couldn't do it without Brian's help at night either. It takes us caring for him in shifts to handle the crying some nights. He's a great support! Another blessing has been that Eli and Calvin will nap at the same time durring the day, so I cna usually sneak in a much needed nap. I've always known that nursing a newborn through the night is tiring, but one with colicky symptoms is SO much more tiring! 

Anyway, Eli has been talking up a storm lately. This picture is of him saying "cheese!" He also says, one of my personal favorites, "O-ink" for orange and "moik" for milk (and "more"). I love his little language right now and he is communicating pretty well. 

I found this picture of Jackson and love it. He received these items for his birthday from Grandma/pa Gray. One morning he dressed up in all his gear and asked me what I thought he looked like. I said "an adventurer!" And he said no...I'm a "Jungler" meaning he was going to the jungle on an adventure. He loves his "adventure" things! I think he's super cute. I love his imagination. 

Newborn Pictures!

Who can't get enough of this cute guy? I think we have a pretty darn cute baby, if I might say so! Each time I have a child, it always amazes me that a fully functioning and able body was created. 

I love my tender moments with Calvin when I can look at his tiny hands and feet and other features, and feel so completley grateful to a loving God who sent him to me. He is so loved! 

Calvin Jesse Beutler!

It's a good thing we took maternity photos when we did, because 3 days later, Calvin came into our world- two weeks early! He was born Tuesday morning May 8th at 6:12 a.m., weighed 7lbs 11 oz (our smallest boy!), and was 19 1/2 inches long. 

My OB appointment was on Monday, and the doc said I was dilated to a 3 and 90% effaced. I didn't want to get my hopes up, I've been there before and nothing happened for two weeks! But in the back of my mind, I was really hoping labor would happen at any moment. As the day passed on, there were no signs of labor at all, in fact I felt great...and went to bed a little discouraged! I thought-- ya...two more weeks. He'll probably even come late! Brian had scheduled work trips to be out of town, and I even told him to kep his appointments, that I didn't feel I would go into labor anytime soon. Luckily he didn't listen to me, otherwise he would have missed the whole thing! 

That night, we had a FHE with the kids on how to treat newborn babies, what to expect with changes, prepping them for things, etc. We carry on as normnal. 2 am rolls around and I start feeling contractions. But I figured it was just false labor and tried to go back to bed. No sense waking people up for no reason! By 3 am, the contractions hadn't stopped, and were also getting closer. I decided I might actually be in labor after all! Brian happened to roll over in bed and asked me how I was doing, and I told him I thought I was in labor, but to go back to bed until I felt ready to go to the hospital. How exciting! We wanted to have this experience of "I'm in labor, it's time to go!" And here we were, and I couldn't tell if I was really in labor, or if and when we should head to the Hospital. My last two deliveries were scheduled enductions, so we knew what was coming. Anyway, Brian tried to get back to sleep, but was restless and started timing the contractions for me. They were 1 min. 45 sec. apart. He was worried I'd have the baby in the car, and told me to call my mom right away. So I did. Around 3:30 I gave my mom a call, she arrived at our house near 4am. We drove to the hospital and got checked in (I was already at a 6, completely effaced). Doctor Holmes came around 5:00 am, and a little over an hour later, Calvin was born! 

That's the simple version. I did it med-free (call me crazy, I know, I just think my body does better without the epideral). I have also gone med-free with my other deliveries (except Jackson) and knew what to expect. I was completely in control of managing my pain... and not a nurse nor my husband could tell I was having a contraction unless they looked at the monitoring screen. Of course, it couldn't all be that easy. Doctor Holmes checked the baby around 5:30, after about a half hour of not progressing past an 8. For me and my body, he know that something was up. He did an ultrasound and soon realized Calvin was facing "posterior" and had to be turned to keep my labor progressing. "Turning" is such a nice word for how painful it was! It was worse than the pushing! But since the whole thing was relatively quick...it was doable. Brain took a small video clip af me holding Calvin after he was born, and all i said was "I survived!" That's how it felt....

I'm just glad he is here! We love him in our home. Doctor Holmes handed Calvin to me right away, and so the nurses took care of him while he was on my tummy, and Brian cut the cord. It was seical moment for me. my babies are usually swept away and I don't get to see them until after the bath, but after all that work of laboring, I really appreciated having the chance to hold my baby first...after 9 long months of pregnancy. It was a treat. The nurses also told me I could join in on the first bath. My first experience with that too! I was so excited to be there. They waited a few hours until I felt up to walking around. I was so grateful they were accomidating to me. It made the birthing experience so nice. 

My mom took the older siblings while we were at the hospital, and they are spending the rest of the week with their cousins. It has been sooo nice to rest and recuperate at home in my own bed with just the new baby. I love having time to hold him and enjoy him without someone else needing my hands for something. We are getting some sleep that otherwise wouldn't be possible with all our youngsters. It's been a great transition. We really appreciate all the help we receive. 

I can't express how much I love having a new baby. It's the feeling that got me through every contraction. It is so worth it!! So worth all the sleeplessness, the pains, the post-pardum figure....Calvin has made my life so much more complete and I love him so much! It's hard to put him down. I love looking at his face and tiny features. I love hearing his newborn noises, grunts, and whimpers. He's just perfect in every way!

The kiddos

We tried so hard to get the kids involved in the maternity shoot, but they had nothing to do with it! In the mix,  however, we got some random cute shots of them. I wish they could have cooperated more when we wanted them too! I had such high hopes and big plans...oh well! 

Jackson woke up the other morning and said, "I can't believe I'm 5!" I know...I can't believe it either! He's such a big kid anymore. 

 Zoey is such a girl, and I'm so glad she is. Surrounded by three brothers makes the "girlyness" in her stand out. She loves her long hair and is hoping it will touch her ankles soon! She is already looking forward to her next birthday, of which she has warned me that she does not want to share any of her cake!

Eli is such a good kid. He's talking more and more each day. He has a pleasant personality and is at a great stage right now. He's so fun, tender and loving.  He tries hard to be like the big kids...he's getting there! He is such a happy kid!

Anyway, I've had a challenge for myself this week to spend more quality time with these precious kiddos and enjoy our time before the new baby comes...I know my attentions will be diverted for a while and want to soak up some time that I have. We've had some really good, fun, action-packed days. All of them spontaneous, and on all of them I forgot my camera-ugh! We've gone on walks and bike rides, visited new parks and even found a pond with geese, took a stroll with Grandma by the river and threw rocks over the bridge, went for a fun drive to explore a new area (Brian's idea-it was a pretty scenic farm drive and the kids enjoyed spotting new things), ate lunch-out and got dessert or a fruit shake.... it's been splendid. I've really enjoyed this week with them. I know there will be plenty more...but I hope they feel special. They truly are my pride and joy.

Maternity Photos!

Brian was a real sport today and took some maternity photos of me. I usually try to avoid an appearance in front of the camera while pregnant, but a friend had talked me into it.  I decided she was right and that I just might miss these days of bearing children someday. I don't have many chances left. This phase of my life is almost over. This is our effort to remember it. I'm feeling a bit nostalgic about it.

 I think Brian did an outstanding job. I felt a little silly being the subject of the photos, and putting my big belly on show for everyone, but I'm glad we did it! I can't believe we are on #4, I can't believe we are having another boy, I can't believe how HUGE I feel...I can't believe I only have 2 weeks left! 

 

We have a 5 year Old!

I can't believe Jackson is 5 already! And that 5 years ago I started the day as pregnant as I am now! A little part of me wishes baby brother would want to share the same birthday as Jackson... but I'll most likely wait out the next 2 1/2 or 3 weeks left. I'm so close! We are excited for his "birth" day too! 

Yesterday we got to visit Jackson's school and bring cupcakes to his classmates for snack time. He requested that I bring the birthday hat too! The class sang happy birthday to him, and all the boys thought he was sooo cool for having "cars 2" birthday cakes. He felt really special and even wanted me to stay. It was a fun visit. 

 

 Zoey got a preview of what next year will be like at school. She loved the visit. The girls were all very nice to her and welcomed her right in.

 This morning, Jackson requested whole wheat pancakes in the shape of a #5. He got to open a few gifts before breakfast, one of which was a pirate outfit, complete with sword and hat and coins. He loved it! (Thanks Aunt Carissa!) He also got some Cars 2 accessories, to go along with the theme of the day....

Pretty much, he's had a great day. If you have read the book "Yes Day" it's been kinda like that for him today. He's always begged to have a "Yes" day! We have grandparents and cousins coming over for cake this evening (he wants an ice cream cake in the shape of a #5 as well, I'll add pictures of the final product when I'm done) . 

*update-cake photos!*

 It's the #5, in case you have trouble seeing it from the side...I should have fixed that before I uploaded, oh well. It was a devil's food cake layered with cookies and cream ice cream. And of course, "Cars 2" figures on top!      

I'm so happy to have this wonderful boy in our home. He is "the best"... just like we tell him every night before bed. He adds a great spirit to our home. He's tender, kind, loving, and helpful. We are lucky and thankful Heavenly Father sent him to us! 

Happy birthday Jackson!!